I'm leaving Japan!

You read that right, reader. She’s coming home, she's coming home, she’s coming - Charlotte’s coming home! On the 24th of August, to be precise - I'm leaving Japan. I can hardly believe how quickly the time’s gone - like sand through a child's open-mouthed hourglass.

Life's a beach, as they say. On both sunny and cloudy days. And with each day here mine becomes vaster, each grain a memory made from sea glass and fish bone .

But the making of those memories, the momentum required, can sometimes feel more like an episode of 'Survivor' than 'Love Island' (or, God forbid, BBC3's old foray into chaos: 'Sun, Sex, and Sespicious Parents'). Right now in Tokyo, my days pool together into rock formations. Tumbling down, becoming quicksand, my remaining months threaten to become unexpected avalanches capable of overwhelming me and sucking everything down to nothing. To have only one life is the joy of being human. To know it, however? Well - what else is that but a curse?

I'm in a last minute rush, you see. To enjoy everything and waste nothing. Which feels like a lot sometimes.

The days I have left in Japan lay before me like puffballs ripe for the plucking. Mulchy earth and meadowsweet, I breathe in and wince as it grows spiky in my hands. Burrs prick the pads of my fingers, fat blood drops in my palms and the soil as the mushroom unfurls. Snuffling and slurping, she waggles her bum and lets out happy squeaks at the opportunity of my wounds. Hurrying to put down her squirming body and bandage the cuts, I try to move on and enjoy the opportunities I have left. She waddles into a bush. I, ever the worker, get back to my harvest.

Later, I lie surrounded by mushroom memories of the week before. Good things - weddings, flowers, walking home at night without a care - block out the Raktabījas roar of cicadas growing fat in their blood-watered burrows. Shield my eyes from the glint of others from briars around, gleaming quizzically in the moon. Nocturnal, these worries cry - that there's too much left to do, that I've wasted my time with every less-than-perfect decision. In those moments I'm grateful especially for my gardeners, the ones keeping me sane standing both here in Japan and far away at home. If you're reading this, you're likely one of those people. Thanks always for sending a buzz down the mycelium. 

Thanks to you, I carry on.

I'm trying to do as much as I can, I promise. I just think with these last few months the concept of home dangles ever more tantalisingly, and I find myself trying to jump forwards towards a time when I can see you all again. Not a day goes past, I swear by the night, when I don't whisper or say these special words that have grown to a chant:

I'm coming home, I'm coming home, I'm coming -

Charlotte's coming home.

As another world- exposed girl thrive said, there's no place like it.

So that's my news! A little update and a lot of love. I'm not really sure what the next steps will be job or location-wise, but rest assured I'm always up for hanging out! If you fancy giving me a buzz closer to the time, I'd be delighted to catch up. I'll see you all again soon, trailing roots right across the world. 

Until then, I send stars.

All mine,

Char xxx